Geezerdom!

Cruised through a [much-needed] lazy weekend of snoozing while listening to the cicadas and playing Nintendo 64 and I'm not craving anything adventuresome. Not even a little bit. Work insanity dominates my life, and I'm both absorbed and disgusted at how absorbed by it I am. I have to defend myself against myself. Why shouldn't I be thriving on all of the changes happening in my life?

What is mundane about an evolving relationship, a move, a career change? Why am I so unimpressed when I hear others talking about their relationships, new houses, new jobs? Why do I look at them and stick little labels on their foreheads like: "boring," "traditional," homebody," "old," "conservative," etc.? The same things go and happen to me, and they consume me.

Does it mean that I'm turning into an old geezer?

Friday night was spent... What was it spent doing? Oh yes, weight lifting and then watching Little Nemo (NOT Finding Nemo), among other things. We didn't mean to take that decadent 3-hour nap on Saturday afternoon, but there you have it. At least we roused ourselves for some nachos, margaritas, hors d'oeuvres, MJ music videos and games at A's place with 6 or so others. On Sunday after S left to conduct, I put on my running shoes and went on an hour-long exploration of old residential Raleigh, and then we played more video games in the afternoon before having dinner, homemade pie (containing fruit from berry bushes outside!) and heated discussions with his parents. S and I must have made about 6 trips to the grocery store in two days for random necessary weekend items (chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter and jelly, coffee, sparkling water, etc.). And I, of course, spent random intervals rereading Harry Potter in prep for the movie release next week. ;)

In other boring news, I have Thursday AND Friday off. What will I do? Probably something spontaneous, expensive, but really fun, I'm betting. Heh heh.

Dream:

I am sitting in the audience of a concert hall with S, waiting to perform. I'm confident that I will be pretty damn awesome, until I take a peek at my music... And discover that I've never played the song in my life. I said this to S, who looked at me incredulously and told me that he knew it backwards, forwards, and in 4 languages. He was quite disappointed - and so was L, my teacher. I suggested that, as punishment, she should force me to sightread it on stage as my performance, no matter how long it took. She latched onto that idea with mean enthusiasm, and I found myself on stage struggling through a piece of music that switched every measure from normal time signatures (6/8, 2/4, etc.) to incomprehensible ones like 5/17 and 3/5. A 5th note looked like a little (*.*).

I wonder if the dream hints at the fact that all of my expectations and notions that I know what's going on are illusions, and that the truths are incomprehensible? Maybe I fear that everybody else knows something I don't? Perhaps I'm too self-absorbed?