Five Remembrances

1. I am sure to become old; I cannot avoid aging.
2. I am sure to become ill; I cannot avoid illness.
3. I am sure to die; I cannot avoid death.
4. I must be separate and parted from all that is dear and beloved to me.
5. I am the owner of my actions, heir of my actions, actions are the womb [from which I have sprung], actions are my relations, actions are my protection. Whatever I do, for good or for evil, to that will I fall heir.

I have trouble with all of these, but I'm perplexed that contemplating them doesn't incite a huge internal earthquake. I'm even relieved that it is inevitable that I'll face aging and illness, death and separation. It means that somewhere along the way, I'll be forced to give up all of the nonsense of daily existence in our petty, addictive, unhealthy culture. Maybe, just maybe, I don't have to be forced.

It truly is comforting - and not in any macabre way! - that we'll all be reduced to quivering neurons in the end, feeling the same pain and sleeping the same sleep, and then washed clean by the earth, abandoned by all of the beloved crap that never loved us in return. I'm content knowing that my wedding ring will long outlast the surfaces of my retinas and the imprints of the memories in my cerebral cortex. I'm tired of the Dali paintings of advertising and trash media, which trick the eye and warp reality. The detailed documentary of realist art is tiresome. I'm weary of seeing and ready to feel.