I've been shot!

With a non-infectious, purified viral protein of influenza, in a clinic at work, for free! I'd get the H1N1 vaccine in a heartbeat, if they'd give it to me, but I'm not "at risk."

We met with Strawberry (pseudonym for our officiant, since she expressed appreciation of the shirt I was wearing, which featured a giant velveteen strawberry) last night to design the ceremony, which Caspian and I wanted to be very spiritual and poetic without being religious. There will also be a Shinto-Buddhist guest or two, and I want them to feel just as touched and included as everybody else. I specifically wanted a female officiant, mainly to express to my Catholic relatives my strong belief that women are excellent and worthy spiritual leaders. The nuns are the jewels of the Catholic church and I'm disappointed that they aren't allowed the decision-making power that they deserve. Much of the Catholic leadership base is comprised of naive, sheltered men who were educated and supported by Church funds, in an outdated, dogmatic environment.

Together, Caspian and I removed all mention of deities, and rewrote our vows to be a simple, lovely mix of modern and ancient language. We designed the ceremony to be simple, beautiful and universal.

We were idly chatting online this afternoon. He was researching the word "Caspian" and read an excerpt of C.S. Lewis' Prince Caspian, which I've never read. C.S. Lewis' work is blatant propaganda, although I did enjoy Out of the Silent Planet, which I read in an insomnia-fueled reading marathon several years ago. He quoted to me:

"During the voyage, Caspian meets the unnamed daughter of the retired star Ramandu. They marry and have a son, Rilian." Caspian's wife doesn't even have a name even though her husband is featured in three books. Her only purpose is to pop out little Rilian, who at least has a name, if not a novel.

During our discussion last night, Strawberry mentioned old school wedding ceremonies, which sometimes culminated in a priest pronouncing the happy couple "Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Snaardenvark" or whatever the groom happened to be named. She then exclaimed, hands thrown aloft, "WHERE IS SHE?" Meaning Arthur's lovely new acquisition. The woman's individuality disappears. Her name disappears, her freedom disappears, she must now fulfill her vows by loving and obeying, until death.

I'm still shocked that wedding ceremonies were actually like this - are actually like this. Are they still ever like this?! Dogs obey their masters. Children obey their parents until they can make educated decisions. A woman, whom is neither a pet nor ignorant, should NEVER be ordained to submit to her husband's will. The concept of submission shouldn't even be an element in a permanent partnership between two people. The presence of the word "obey" in traditional wedding vows casts a pall over all of humanity. It's as jarring to me as the image of a bride processing to the altar wearing fetters instead of bracelets. Or a Monet with a scribble of permanent marker on it. The history of marriage itself, when these views are upheld, is sullied.

I didn't intend to go on a rant when I started this post, but there you have it. In today's world as a highly-educated female in an intelligent and diverse work environment, I automatically assume that it's my rightful place. I forget all too easily that these "mythical" stories of oppression aren't myths. Even my examples are pale shadows of oppression compared to the discrimination, isolation and persecution of women in some conservative Islamic cultures.

When I stand back and think of humanity in all its tarnished glory, across time and space, it seems ludicrous that we divide our species up so readily.