My Only Friend, The End

This blog will be decommissioned at some point in the near future.

I started it during a highly transitional phase in my personality.  It has become too public, to readily found through searches, and I'm catering too much to my perceptions of you (my audience) when I write.

I feel like I lied too much, in everything that I wrote...  Well, not lied, but masked.  Omitted.  Included things that were of less importance to me than other things (not included) were, for the sake of my audience.  I covered up my emotions, analyzed them poorly.  I was alternately too frivolous and too serious.

The main issue I have with this blog is that it perpetuates a need within me to be immortalized, pondered, thought of by other people.  Narcissistically, the possibility of being in the thoughts of friends and strangers empowers me.  It somehow actualizes my experiences.  It makes my thoughts worthwhile.  Why didn't I view them as worthwhile before?  Do my thoughts, experiences, joys, sorrows, etc. have less value if they remain unwritten, unsaid, unthoughtof?  Do I really need you guys to know about them?

I'm laughing as I write all of this, because I have started another blog.  My intent is different, though.  No pictures, no graphics, no links, no names.  No searches.  No reason to post when I'm not in the mood, to censor thoughts, to be grammatically or politically correct.  No reason not to rant, no reason not to pray, no reason not to be an oafish, waspish, ignorant little bitch.

I'm not surprised nobody but my most diehard friends comment here.  I get plenty of traffic.  What does that say about my messages, my tone, my purported attitudes?

There are people who read that I don't see very often, but who I care about and trust.  If you believe yourself to be one of these people, you probably are, and you are welcome to ask me about the new blog if I don't invite you directly.  I am shy and a loner, so please take the initiative and e-mail me or send me a message.