Sharing

Sharing hasn't ever come naturally to me. When I was growing up, I had two curious and obnoxious little sisters sticking their stubby little hands into my things - and I was particular about my things. I had my own room until college, when it became necessary for me to share a room with another person. I took that pretty much in stride, but it would make me seriously unhappy if my roomie neglected our communal space, or allowed her stuff to infringe upon my space. I show respect by keeping a shared environment happy and tidy.

Things and space are one thing - time is another. Sharing time and work make me uncomfortable. I'd much rather write a 50 page thesis myself than share the work with three other people. Seriously, most of the time, I could take or leave being around others. I'm usually completely ambivalent about it. Sure, I like to communicate and I enjoy group activities, but I am inclined to do things alone. Shop alone, chill out alone, exercise alone. Don't get me wrong - there are people in my life that I wouldn't ever want to do without, even though we might not see each other often. These people are regularly in my thoughts and, being my friends, they understand it and aren't offended if I keep to myself for weeks at a time. That's just the way I is.

The flip side: I'm not inclined to ask for help, friendship or support. I don't feel entitled to any of it. My closest friends tend to be independent, inward-turning people themselves, all of us thoroughly capable of "picking up where we left off" without feeling neglected or forgotten; we all understand that neglect or forgetfulness aren't even on the board. I'm terrible with relationships that require both parties to continuously affirm their committment, oodles of time investment, and tons of mutual emotional support to continue burning. If I meet and befriend a person who does require these things in his/her friendships, over time, I'm eventually abandoned for more drama-oriented, hot-burning folk. That's fine.

Yes, yes - I am going somewhere with this! On Monday, Caspian and I purchased a copy of our marriage license and opened up/merged our financial accounts. I was shocked at how... Natural it felt. We have a shared checking account, a shared money market account, and we each have private checking accounts. We decided to pool our money for savings and mutual bills - anything else earned (that doesn't go into savings) becomes the domain of the person who earned it. Each of us is responsible for contributing a certain percentage to savings and shared checking.

I thought it would never feel right to a) live with another person, b) share much of my time with another person and c) share my financial resources with another person - but, with the right person, I didn't even have to think about it.