Something's Gotta Give

Last night after creating a magnificent potato quiche (which Caspian completely finished - that's like 2/3 of a 9" x 9" baking pan of quiche - I rescued some for my lunch today), I sewed the sleeves, finished them, and attached them to the blouse! They are set-in sleeves, which meant that I had to gather them very carefully using easestitches and sew them in with utmost care so that they lay perfectly without a rumple or gather visible from the outside. The only things left are the hems and the buttons/buttonholes. Pics coming upon completion!

This has been way fun. I've been so engrossed in my work that I've missed multiple meals and completely forgotten about workouts, piano practicing and other hobbies. I'm not particularly enthused about the first silver Latin lesson at Elite tonight - I want to finish that blouse!

The most valuable thing I've gained is an understanding of the true value of a piece of clothing. I may be a rookie, but even after subtracting the hours I spent making mistakes and puzzling over enigmatic instructions and illustrations... A few hours of tense, meticulous work remain. All for a standard, fitted, simple-sleeved blouse (i.e. no cuffs or plackets). I think of the time and effort it would take for a young girl in a hot, loud (at best) environment to create multitudes of blouses just like this for the equivalent of a couple of dollars a day, and I feel so ashamed. It cost me about $12 in materials to make, and I've paid as much as $60 at J. Crew for something similar. Somebody's making money, and it's not that girl.

I derive so much more joy and meaning from sitting for hours, neck cramping, creating a piece of clothing than I do from any of the tasks I do for my vocation. What does that mean?

It means that I've found the hidden back room in the lush, gaudy garden that is Western consumerist culture. We lack reverence. We don't revere the things we have. We don't see the richness that we give up when we sacrifice our time to the puppet master for money that we spend buying things that are ultimately meaningless. We don't revere joy. We don't even revere our own time. I was brought up believing that there is always an exchange - time spent doing something tolerable at best in exchange for a membership to consumerism and its trappings - debt, merchandise, mediocrity.

My time isn't worth tolerating existence. Every day should be a joy. My life shouldn't be a study in Six Sigma. Something's gotta give, I'm right on the edge of the breaking point.