Thoughts for a Thursday

So. Sou desu yo ka?

Sheepy sheepy sleepy, not weepy, my phone is beepy. I'm sitting at my desk and there is a big, bird's beak blue, barrel-shaped mug of Maya Spicy Chocolate coffee beside my left hand. I hear J nearby, crunching on his usual mid-morning snack of sugar ice. He gets a cup of ice and pours sugar on it, then eats it. Sometimes he dusts his ice with Kool-Aid instead of sugar and runs around all day with cherry-red or grape-purple lips.

I'm okay, but could be better. I'm alive and quite bodily healthy, I have my coffee, kitties sang to me this morning as I applied mascara. How can I be so sheepish, yet so completely un-sheeplike? Why can't I just find a little niche and plug away happily at whatever I'm doing, satisfied with my existence? Why do I have to be so constantly full of upheaval?

Some indeterminate amount of time was spent yesterday looking at real estate in... Italy. Another quite large chunk of time was squandered reading every word of a 51-page pamphlet on the PhD in Public Policy at Duke University. I'm especially drawn to the concentration in Sociology. My little plan this morning is to get into Duke fall 2011 with a scholarship (there are tons out there), finish it in 5 years, and then move to Italy. Yuss! Well, who knows, but I am GOING to apply for Duke, and possibly UNC. If I get in, once that's done, I'm sure I will have satisfied my craving for higher education. The cravings for a mountainous Tuscan vista just beyond my kitchen window and romantic Italian Rs rrrrolling effortlessly off my tongue will have to wait.

I think I will actually get off my ass and take steps toward my lifelong dream job - professor. I sort of abandoned it after the master's degree, so eager was I to escape the stress of multiple theses, federal logic tests, applications into public policy fraternities, comprehensive examinations and 4-hour-long lectures that a nice predictable 8-5 routine sounded like the epitome of extravagance. Now I know it's actually the epitome of boringness. At least where I'm at now.

Step one: GREs. Again. Sigh. This time with actual studying.

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Other goals that would be helpful to work toward are true frugality (not just pretend or sporadic) and the regular purchase of local and fresh produce (for actual cooking and eating, not for shriveling in the fridge). It is a joy to live simply through the best use of resources possible (yadda yadda), and while Caspian I haven't really ever approached "excessive," we've definitely flung money around in the names of convenience, spontaneity and just plain lazy.

It's kind of interesting/dismaying to me that I find myself increasingly drawn towards a lifestyle that is simple, self-sufficient and creative... Considering the derision I've historically directed at trendy blogs about it, and their yippy little followers. Not that I've ever considered NOT living simply, self-sufficiently and creatively, but just that I haven't gained the maturity to be passionate about its ethical and spiritual importance until recently. It's just as important as being educated.

I'mma go to the fabric store tonight and see what kindza patterns zey gots.