Needs vs. Wants

On Monday at a training seminar offered by my workplace, we were given time to think about and write down our expecations for work and for our lives. I have a hard time nailing down exactly what I expect to do in my career, and even what I want to do, because I would pretty much love to do anything if:

I get to write.

My passions are valued. Not only my skills (which include things I'm good at that bore me, like technical writing), but my passions.

I am valued as a unique entity. Currently, any educated person from off the street could probably accomplish my tasks. If they're less free-spirited and more routine-oriented than I, they'd probably be better time managers in my position. I think I'm tolerated at my workplace because I'm so highly educated and can probably do just about anything if I applied myself. My personality is NOT the norm, and not appreciated by some.

What do I need to do in order feel fulfilled in life? The following are some of my thoughts, and they overlap and wrap around each other:

I need to write, and I need to reach people through what I write. I need to write a book or three. I need to compose. To make things.

I need time to reflect.

I need to pursue music - not to "succeed" in a business sense or "beat" others with my skill, but because I love it so desperately and have neglected it for too long. It's one of the few things in my life that demands every ounce of effort that I can muster. One of the few endeavors in which, for me, to succeed is pure magic, and to fall short is worthy of soul-searching. One should never neglect something so powerfully, personally moving. I feel that, as untamed, unschooled or hidden as it may be right now, I have true musical insight and innate musical skill.

I need to pursue a lifestyle that is simple, minimally-consumerist, self-reliant. To create beauty and nourishment instead of settling for the creations of others to satisfy oneself is one of life's most satisfying endeavors. To reject empty pursuits like fashion and materialism and seek to nestle close to the pure, bare heart of life.

I need to travel and learn languages. This is essential to my personal fulfillment. How can one truly be reverent of life if one hasn't explored other ways of living and thinking and communicating?