Remembering what I forgot I'd forgotten.

I woke up this morning with an extreme desire to be Outside - so no gym for me. 50 degrees is the perfect temp for a jog in tights and a light jacket, so that's what I did... For 75 minutes, which is what I get for not wearing a watch... (And I was slightly late to work, naturally.) As I ran, all sorts of memories came to me that I thought I'd forgotten, and feelings, and it was sad and odd and romantic flitting through the dark and the fog and the shadows between quiet buildings, while reminiscing about strange things at 5:30 in the morning.

I remembered moments from about 10 or so Christmas Eves from my childhood, moments like sitting with my nose at the crack of a window at my gramma's house, watching the falling snow skirl through the beam of a streetlight. I remember the smell PERFECTLY, a cold, snowy, woody, exciting smell. Or lying on the floor in my parents' living room, wearing a ring with a big fake jewel in it. I was lying just so with my beringed hand right beside my eye, watching the crystal clear reflection of the Christmas tree lights in the facets of the jewel. And then of course I started to get sad, because everything is old and gone and changed and it's never coming back - but it's a lovely warm sadness, since it's still here somewhere in the dark spaces between my synapses, and I'm discovering that I haven't forgotten what I forgot I wasn't supposed to remember. I love to run.

Waltz last night with my dance instructor, for whom I have yet to think of a suitable pseudonym. I wrote about 5 pages of notes, I learned so much in just that single hour of one-on-one. We worked on frame for about 15 minutes, and then movement and shifting of weight - all in such extreme mechanical detail that I was feeling overwhelmed, until we actually DID it and I understood that all of these motions are the natural inclinations of the body, just altered or held or exaggerated. He and I touched a little bit on Latin, but I was deeply in standard mode and quite unable to make my hips move like this, and my feet like that! That's a flaw, since dancers have to be able to switch dances in seconds during heats at competitions. Overpriced Greek food for dinner, and I was utterly exhausted and ended up falling deeply asleep on the couch, but made myself get up, go home, and go to bed properly.

I'm so glad that I have no plans for tonight.