For the first time since Saturday night, I slept.
Gear shift.
I just finished listening to a Puccini aria (two actually, seamlessly fused together) rendered in piano and I'm quite overwhelmed... Let me get a handle on this a sec...
So, despite the fact that Jesper hogged the bed, I was stricken by an on-and-off cluster migraine and so exhausted that I probably could've slept in a wind tunnel. I got all ready for a lesson with Inga after work yesterday, but we looked at each other and decided that we'd rather chillax, and then go out for Japanese with Lavender later. $2 sushi rolls, omnomnom!
In the sudden extra two hours of free time and despite my misgivings, we went to Lowe's, where I purchased a Zip-it. Let me precede my tale of fear with a quick intro. There are very few things in this world that really, REALLY gross me out to the point of feeling nauseous. Two of these things are, unequivocably:
1) When guys (or girls?) hawk loogies, and
2) drain clogs.
If you are in my presence and have the sudden urge to perform Disgusting Action #1, beware! Another disgusting action may be performed by me, quite unvoluntarily, resulting in the Domino Barf Effect, to which small children are more susceptible, and which will clear a room faster than Cheney with a shotgun. ANYWAYS!
I have been afflicted with a very slow drain in my shower, and no attempt to clear it has proven successful. It is sparkling clean and white as far as I can see into it, which isn't that far. I've used clog dissolving liquid of various brands, hydrochloric acid, and was about to buy a bottle of sulfuric acid with skulls emblazoned all over it (the bottle itself was wrapped up in thick plastic), when I decided to directly confront my fear of Disgusting Thing #2, rather than trying to obliterate the threat from afar. Just the word "clog" sounds so much like the nature of the object it symbolizes that I shudder when I read it... Ugh! Just pondering the existence of that festering, nasty conglomeration of organic material produced by who knows who, lying in wait just a couple feet from my feet... Heh heh. Are you grossed out yet?
I told D that I'd pay him $10 to use the Zip-it and he looked at me askance and enthusiastically agreed, but I have to admit that my morbid (?) curiosity has taken hold. I want to zip-it, and zip-it good, single-handedly. Ridding myself of clogophobia would be a good thing for my future self, especially if I have kids, because kids are gross.
And on that note, it's time for a snack. Angelhair pasta, anyone?
1 year ago
4 comments:
OMG I can totally empathize with the whole clogophobia thing. Over a year ago, my bath tub drain completely clogged. Doug - conveniently - choose the exact same time the clog chose to be in Michigan - yes, enjoying the warm beach, cool evenings, and Grandma's cooking.
Meanwhile, back in the bathroom... No amount of shoving a wire hanger down the drain would dislodge the clog. I tried vinegar and baking soda. It fizzed nicely but did not intimidate the clog in any way. I tried Draino. Ditto.
So, there was nothing left to do but pull out the old plumber's snake. After removing the faceplate of the tub wall entry, my mother (who so bravely brought the snake to me) and I were cordially greeted by a ginormous cockroach. It took me about a nanosecond to find the Raid and the roach quickly retreated back down the drain.
Then we proceeded to shove the plumber's snake into the drain until we hit the clog. * Please give me a second to gag. * After several seconds of cranking the snake in circles in order to latch onto the clog, we began to pull the snake out, not knowing yet if we had actually hooked the clog or not.
Well, we had. A slimy, smelly, thick, foot-long hair turd came out of the drain. We had to evacuate the room immediate. The smell was deadly.
A few minutes later, armed with air-freshener and noses covered with any spare items of clothing we could find, we bravely reentered the hair-turd-zone - not without ample gagging.
Just when we thought it could not get any worse, the cockroach reappeared. I suppose he missed the hair-turd. Once again we sprayed him with Raid, more effectively this time.
Once we had properly disposed of the hair-turd, and decontaminated the bathroom, the drain actually drained. It was lovely.
Next time, I'm calling a plumber.
I have to admit, my morbid curiosity made me wonder how it all turned out... Until I read momo's lovely story!
Alright guysssssss, why did you have to go and do that? It's going to take me like a whole WEEK to get my courage back!
I'm such a wimp!!!
(shower still clogged)
Wait. Momo's story grossed you out more than the video on the ZipIt website? It must have been the cockroach... EEEEEEEHHK! My skin crawls just thinking about it. I guess I don't blame you.
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