Ode to Bikram

(all together, with gusto!)

Bikram yoga, I do love thee,
You cause me to sweat and to never need to pee,
My forehead now is squishing further up against my knee,
Oh, oh Bikram!

Five times a week I throw myself at your mercy,
Often enough to justify this little versey,
I'm looking now at body parts I never thought I'd see,
Oh, oh Bikram!

Bikram, Bikram,
You sort of rhyme with dim sum
You make me fall on my bum,
Yes, Bikram is my friend!

Jill, Jana, Monica, Renee and Suzanne,
You keep me in the dungeon where I never get a tan,
You tell me where to flex and pull and where to place my hands,
Oh, oh Bikram!

I never knew my future hobby would such misery entail.
Our love-to-hate relationship extends beyond the pale,
My fondest wish to balance keep would be a lemur tail,
Oh, oh Bikram!

Contortions have me melting like hot wax into the floor,
Posing and relaxing is like crack, and furthermore!
The lovely stretching feeling is my secret paramour,
Oh, oh Bikram!

Bikram, Bikram,
You sort of rhyme with dim sum
You make me fall on my bum,
Yes, Bikram is my friend!

Bikram, Bikram, Bikram is my friend! THE END!