Ring Debacle

As you'll recall, 1.5 weeks go, S and I went to the jeweler to design and purchase our wedding rings. Last Saturday, we went back to a) order his ring, a titanium/carbon fiber piece, and b) pick up my finished wedding band, which looks like it was pooped out by a baby unicorn and then crafted in Wonderland by tiny magical elves. I'd imagine baby unicorns must poop purest gold. That's a compliment to the jeweler, btw.

I was also supposed to pick up my completely wondrous matching engagement ring - a custom piece in 18k yellow gold and platinum with white and purple diamonds - after its .25 size enlargement... But when it was handed to me, I immediately noticed that it had an off-center bulge in it where it had been resized, and the heavy gold band was wrinkled on the inside. It used to be perfect in every way. Chagrined, I left it with the jeweler, who said it would be reshaped by Monday.

I joyously braved rush hour traffic after work yesterday (Monday). A terrible driver in a 90s Honda with a spoiler half as high as a hula hoop didn't disturb my serenity when he cut me off. After 45 minutes of dodging crazed businesspersons in Lexuses (Lexi?) on the interstate, I breezed into the jewelry store, was greeted with a friendly hello, and was presented my ring... Which was even worse off. Not only did it still come to a distinct point in the back right, but the delicate milgrain along the sides was smashed, a new addition to the carnage. Unacceptable.

As tempted as I was to rescue the ring from further destruction in the jeweler's evidently vile clutches (he created it! it was perfection! I don't understand!), I decided to leave it at the shop. I [politely] indicated that I didn't want to see it again until it was as beautiful as it was when I dropped it off. I don't care how long that takes. Ominously, the salesperson asked for the wedding date. I have a feeling I'm not going to see that ring again for quite some time.

It's just a ring. A conglomeration of metals and minerals that somebody arranged into a symbol of commitment, presented to a female by a male in a sexist European custom. I've acquired very few pieces of fine jewelry in my 27.75 years (all of it from my parents, except for a diamond pendant and the matched pair of rings from S) and I've never been one to covet or desire it.

Butit'sspecialtomeandIwantitback. Mlah.