Love and Hate

The Mikado? A wild success, with raucous parties. I stayed up past 2 AM for 3 nights in a row. To sit in the front balcony, watch the curtain rise before a packed house, revealing the arrogant silhouette of your face-painted husband in Japanese garb, and then to hear his beautiful, confident voice echoing through the theater space as he sings his aria? Few people are so lucky.

And... I am driving to Maryland this weekend to compete at the University of Maryland! As in, dance! With a partner I have never met, and steps that I haven't trod in, oh, possibly a year and a half. I am terribly excited. I had a lesson with A last night - quickstep and foxtrot, and will probably have about 4 hours of lessons on Saturday morning before I have to drive, if he can stand to be in my presence for so long. Few have the fortitude.

I also e-mailed another ex-team-member on a whim, asking him if he'd randomly like to dance with me in Charlotte in just over three weeks, despite him being on a hiatus about as long as mine. Knowing that he's an adventuresome sort, I artfully composed my inquiry, presenting it like an off-the-wall, split-second decision (which it was), possibly resulting in some winning, and definitely involving some fun. He agreed! Crazy. Means the next few weeks are going to be pretty dance-heavy.

This week has been a whirlwind of getting back in touch with the State team - which is all completely different now. New captain, new prez, new teachers, all new dancers... But this time, I go to have fun, and that is all. This time, it's not about the winning, but about the thrill of dancing in front of judges, of showing off, of joyfully moving with another person doing the same.

One of Tuesday's opinion articles in the New York Times (which I read today, having been in class for the past three days, until about half an hour ago) cleanly illustrates every single reason why I have such a hard time trusting republicans. Whenever I chat with a random person, I usually end up taking a liking to them, and I always try very hard not to ask questions or explore topics that might reveal them to be republicans... Because I would be disappointed, despite myself. In reading this article this morning, I realized just how terribly opinionated I can be. At best, I think of them as fiscally-conservative, wealthy and independent (and my family is comprised mostly of republicans!). If I know the person well, my judgment depends upon the person - there are many moderate republicans, fiscally-conservative republicans and republicans who don't despise and persecute those not of their race, religion, creed or walk in life. They exist among my closest friends, my uncles and aunts, my work buddies.

But at worst, in my mind, republicans are the extreme of what Bob Herbert describes - ignorant, bull-headed, exclusive, discriminating, selfish misogynists, out for their own good and the good of their [male] children, willing to trample over all others to take what they believe is their rightful place. As a group, I think of them as exhibiting all of these characteristics. As a group, I conceptualize them as a school of sharks; unable to be reasoned with, unable to be shaken, biting and snatching as a single relentless entity.

It just seems so incredibly obvious to me that we should all sacrifice even our hard-earned wealth to assist those in worse situations than ourselves. Everything we all are... Is at the whim of chance.

It's an unpleasant position, to so thoroughly mistrust and so harshly judge one's own family. I can't help it. Their beliefs so completely counter my own sometimes that I have even resorted to blocking them from my news feed in Facebook, just so I won't be forced to witness their complaints and form negative opinions of them. Sometimes they bring me to tears, those selfish, terrifying, alien cries of my close friends, cousins, grandparents.